Subscribe to Newsletter

Go to Iskenders
Dirik's profile

My name is not Dirk.

Forename

Iskender

= “Alexander” in Turkish
Surname

Dirik

D - i - r - i - k
(2 x i !!!)
SO WHAT GOES WRONG?

Hey Dirk,
How are you?

Hi Dirk,
sorry für die (zu)
späte Rückmeldung.

Hi Dirk,
haben uns ja leider
nur kurz gesehen.

Hallo Dirk,
könnten wir auf den 28.7. schieben?

Hallo Dirk,
siehe unten/anbei.

hallo dirk!
habe mir das mal
angesehen.

Hi Iskender,
keine Ahnung wie ich auf Dirk komme. Sorry.

Hallo Dirk,
von unserer
Seite auch.

Verdammt - ich weiss. sorry!
war auf die schnelle getippt.
habe ja nicht mal “dirik”
geschrieben, sondern “dirk
raus gemacht. :-)

Entschuldige vielmals die
Namensverwechslung, es
kommt garantiert kein
zweites Mal vor.

Das mit dem Namen
tut mir sehr leid. Bitte
entschuldige.

This is an email thread I had with a guy I met a couple of times before in person (!). The subject of the mail thread was: “Lunch Tim-Iskender”. Again: The subject of the mail thread was: “Lunch Tim-Iskender”.

Hi Dirik, I’m afraid I’ve to cancel our lunch (…) Best, Tim

Hi Tim, no worries. But the thing with my name really hurts. www.notdirk.com.
Best, Iskender

Hi Dirik, next try: How about a coffee next wednesday afternoon? (…) Best, Tim

However, Dirk is not my only problem:

Hi Dirik,
Please meet James,
CEO and founder of...

Hey Dirik,
We're a computer vision team...

Lieber Dirik,
ich schreibe dir im Namen…

Dear Dirik,
I'd like to present you
an exciting investment
opportunity in the ML
space...

Islander, are you
around? What’s your
mobile?

Hallo Herr Iskender,
ich würde Sie jetzt
anrufen.

Das werde ich jetzt definitiv
nicht mehr verwechseln.
Sorry für die falsche Anrede.
Ich habe bisher wirklich immer
gedacht, Iskender sei Dein
Nachname. Tut mir total leid.

Guten Morgen Herr Iskender,
vielen Dank, dass ich die …

A) Hätten du und Scanner
Zeit für einen kleinen
Workshop, um die …
B) Kennst du oder Scanner
einen Freelancer, der uns
bei dem Thema …

Hallo Herr Iskender,
ich freue mich, Sie
kennenzulernen.

AI-skender

HOLY MOL(L)Y: When you’re sure that you’ve seen everything, a disruptive cashier from Redmond (USA) suddenly appears and proves you wrong:

In September 2018 I landed at Berlin-Tegel airport coming from Seattle. British Airways lost my luggage. I went to the Lost & Found office. And then this dialogue happened:

Your last name is Dirk?

D-i-r-i-k.

Ingo is your first name?

Don’t try to be funny, dude.

No, it’s NOT* funny anymore that you approach me with “Hello Dirk 😉” or “Hi Dirik 😊” or “Hi Mr. Iskender (hehe)” actually knowing my real name and the whole case here.
IT’S NOT - NOT ANYMORE!
I won’t laugh when you approach me like that on purpose. Never ever. Believe me, my “friend”.

* Bold + capital letters + underlined. You finally got it, right?

There are always exceptions: Sometimes, but only sometimes, like very very seldomly, some guys like these founders find a charming way to address “it”:

The innovative idea with the menu.

You understood that Iskender is my first name and that Dirik is my last name. You totally got that my name is not Dirk. You also learned that it’s not funny anymore to approach me deliberately like “Hello Dirk 😉” or “Hi Dirik 😊”.
But then you suddenly find yourself in a Turkish Restaurant.

You open the menu – and you can’t believe your eyes. What’s that? Whooohooooow – “Iskender Kebab”? Hahahah, isn’t that funny? You take a shot of the menu with your phone and send it to me as you think you’re the first one who had this amazingly awesome idea:

So… if you want us to be or stay “friends”: Stay calm, put your iPhone aside, order that heavy, but yummy Iskender (= I’m delicious) and just enjoy it.

This is what usually happens when I go to an event:

What’s your name?

Iskender Dirik.

Sorry, but I can’t find you on the guest list.

I hate y’all.

I guess you mixed up my first and last name. Check your guest list for “Dirik Iskender”.

Ah, yes, I found it! Here is your badge.

The person who caused the disaster.

This is Muhittin Melih Dirik. My father.

He is from İskenderun (Turkey), located on the eastern Mediterranean coast on the Gulf of İskenderun.

In his younger
days he said:

If I’ll get a son, I’ll call him Iskender.

A man, a word.
Thanks, baba.

Eselsbrücke

For the Germans amongst you that need a mnemonic to remember my first name:

Is’ Ken da?

Eigentlich spricht man
meinen Namen im Türkischen aber so aus: Ißkennderrr